Give and take

Givers want to help others in a way that is selfless.

Takers want to be pleased.

And takers are never pleased for very long.

Takers want to take from others in a way that is selfish.

Givers are often easily manipulated in to giving that goes beyond selflessness and into activities or generosity that is not in their own self-interest.

Takers are often manipulative.

It is the only way they can fulfill their selfishness.

Givers can have a problem with saying “no” and sticking with it.

Takers never hear the word “no.”

“No” to a taker means “not right now” or “not that specific thing” and takers will circle back quickly to see if there is something else they can take instead.

Once a giver has given in to a taker, the taker knows they can take more from the giver whenever they please.

Takers will become upset and often angry at a manipulated giver once the giver realises they are being manipulated in to acting against their own self-interest and refuse to give any more.

I have had this very experience myself – I am a giver, I am generous, and I seem to attract takers in all their glorious forms.

I can often spot a taker, but many times they are disguised as givers and it takes a while.

Usually you give a little, and they reciprocate, then you give some more, and they reciprocate a little, and you give a lot more, and the reciprocation dries up until you are giving and they are taking.

And when you can give no more, or won’t give any more, the taker becomes angry, acts confused and hurt.

“How could you abandon me like this when I need you the most?” and “You do realize that you not doing this for me irreparably harms me? It harms our relationship? There will be repercussions for you if you don’t do this.”

Givers hold a lot of power.

The power they hold is to stop giving or to give to others.

Takers are incredibly vulnerable.

The only thing they know how to do is take, when a giver stops giving to a taker, the taker is left without recourse and unable to proceed.