Archive for 2014

Hey! Look! Firefox crashed! And won’t restore session! What an #%@$%^* surprise!

And now I am banging my head on the desk over an even weirder Windows Phone bug.

Client: “We have lost the main administrator password to the website, can you recover it for us?” Me: “Yes, but you will need to let me have access to the server to do it.” Client: “We can’t do that. The security risk would be too great. You might break something. You might steal our customer…

Hulu and Snu Snu That is all… Come on, it’s the middle of the week and I’m sick in bed with a head cold. A bad pun is all I’ve got.

I am too old for “Netflix and Chill.” Can I do “Amazon Video & Commitment” instead? There’s a marketing tagline to steal: “Looking for commitment? Amazon Prime Video. The preferred video provider of those too old for chill.”

Your best work is merely the best until your next best work. Your best work will only remain your best work if you stop working to make the next best thing. Every day, get a little bit better, and work towards your next best thing.

A long time ago… Past Client: “We were hoping you would do it for free, for old time’s sake.” Me: “You never paid your last three invoices. There is no “old time’s sake”.”

I personally sign very few NDAs. When I do it is because I consider the payoff to be worth the risk. An NDA that tries to cover every generic discussion we might have, attempts to cover anything already public knowledge or might become public knowledge, has no term limits on anything discussed, is non-mutual, has…

So I said: “Can you help me with the chores? You’ve got two options, you can empty the dog or you can walk the dishwasher. I don’t mind which one you choose.”

*click* My new bench power supply has that really satisfying *click* when you turn it from off to on. *click* It requires just the right amount of pressure to go from off *click* to on. *click* It is like mechanical porn for the engineering part of my mind. *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click* *click*…

Just whipped up French Onion soup and garlic bread rolls for lunch. Why? Because there is a slight chilly dampness in the air.

Just tried to make this code work and failed 9,998 times. By Edison’s logic I have only two more to go before success. I know (really!) that is not how it works at all. But a lot of people seem to think it does.  

You don’t know the true meaning of Hell until you have to mince 500 cloves of garlic by hand. I need 800mg of Ibuprofen and a double shot of espresso! Be a good chap and get that for me, would you?

Direction, Goals, Projects, Tasks, Actions. I don’t have a pretty acronym because hard work never came packaged in an acronym.

Wired up eight separate sync stepping time zone aware clocks all moving in time. Now I need to build a nice cabinet in the workshop so that the clocks have a place to live.

Summary of contract: “We require that all the copyrights be assigned to us. Our traffic shows that this kind of video lecture will receive several thousand visits over the next year. You will have to handle all your own promotion. Our analytics are not authoritative. You agree not to have us independently audited. We pay…

Wow! Who woulda thunk it? Kirkland (CostCo) Balsamic Vinegar is one of the best I’ve tasted in a long time. Makes an awesome Balsamic vinegar reduction too.

I’ve seen a lot of Purple Squirrel job descriptions that I have been qualified for. But after talking with the company it is quite evident they are actually looking for a Purple Monkey willing to work for similarly coloured peanuts.

Oh dear. Potential client lead just dropped this one: “If we can somehow convince you to work on our project (for six months and completely free) you would have massive exposure. Think of the career boost you’d receive when you tell people you helped to build the next Facebook.” *facepalm*

Start-up looking for engineers? Stop trying to find your soulmate and just hire a damn plumber already.